How to be sick

....find this sexy.

Thank fuck I don't.

If I'd eaten I'd have chucked up on my keyboard.

Ouch

As I was on night shift on Sunday my special dispensation allows a Sick Sunday Monday post.

So there.



Ouch!!




Fuckin' Ouch!!!!!!

After

...days of searching, I couldn't find the x-ray image, but I turned up the story.

Just for Cynnie.

"A 35-year-old man presented with severe abdominal pain and distention but normal vital signs. An abdominal radiograph (Fig. 1A) showed multiple rounded objects, some of which projected in the shape of a head with a pointed nose (Fig. 1B). Suspecting a case of "body packing" [1], we questioned the patient as to whether he had ingested packets filled with illicit drugs for the purpose of smuggling. However, the patient stated that he had ingested multiple heads of a popular children's toy doll over the course of several days. He declared that swallowing dolls' heads was his habit for anal autoerotic gratification."

Watching The Tudors.

I couldnt wait until sunday

Try

...this for size (fnarr-fnarr)
















We're all going to Hell.

Listening to Kevin Reese Saunderson :- Inside out

Dinners'

...post reminds me of a sick joke.

A young guy goes to work at a mortuary. His first day, his boss says "Go over to that table and wash the body under the sheet. I have an errand to run, I'll be back in an hour"
An hour or so later the guy returns to find his young apprentice bawling his eyes out in a corner.

"Whats the matter?" asks the boss.

"That body you asked me to wash is of a beautiful young woman" said the apprentice.

"Yes, I know" soothes the boss. "If you're to have a career in this field, you have to get used to death coming to all ages, the beautiful and the ugly, the sick and the apparently well. You never know."

"It's not just that she was beautiful", says the apprentice, "Its that someone defiled her body".

Shocked, the boss demands to see what the apprentice is crying about.

"Look", says the youth. "Some joker stuck a shrimp in her vagina after she died. You Can see it poking out..."

The boss let out a sigh. "Son, I understand your upset, but that's not a shrimp, thats the young woman's clitoris"

"Funny", says the youth,"It tasted like shrimp".

Listening to Uchafbwyntiau's wythnos pocast from BBC Radio Cymru

Chomp!

Allright and? I know it's Tuesday! I'm a shift worker so I get special dispensation so there....

In my view rapists should have their dicks chopped off. It can be done I'm told. Some type of tube affair can replace it so they can still have a piss.

What about blow job rape though? Same if you ask me but I've never quite got my head around it - if you see what I mean.

"CHOMP!" and away you go. Look, running fast with a guys dick in your mouth may not be altogether easy - although it'll be a damn sight easier if it's not attached to him - but I guarantee he won't be chasing you and identifying him'll be easy. The first dickless A&E patient the police find will be him.

So go on girls. If some scumbag ever tries this on "CHOMP!". Just close your eyes and imagine the smell of BBQ and pretend its a hot dog - probably a weenie seeing as these guys can hardly ever get it up.

You get left with a bald patch and your dignity intact. He gets left with a handfull of hair and no dick. No contest.

Speaking of dicks. I'm under the impression - correct me if I'm wrong - that stiffs, as in deceased men - can't get a hard on as they're dead and getting a hard on requires blood to pump around. I suppose rigor mortis? No. Surely not...

Anyroad, this Japanese film is about a doctor who falls in love with a corpse and shags him / it.

How does the lucky corpse get a hard on? Inquiring minds need to know....